Profile: Dorgon

DIBS! DIBS! DIBS!

HAHAHAHAHAHA! MINE!!!

I claim this space in the name of The Sacred Brotherhood of the Eternal Meme Flame! And in the name of taco pizza and homemade tapioca pudding!

If "sleeping beauty" here ever gets back: he can shove-off to a different profile page. I have legally claimed this place, this right, and the free license to obnoxiously do whatever I want here, as from Fri Nov 02, 2007 09:23 AM and of today, the day of realization, I am entitled to it all fair and square! And as this right and entitlement has not been legally disputed within the allotted grace period, or through any of the proper channels, it is now hereby mine by the grace of god (and Tanga) from now till doomsday (which may or may not be Dec. 21, 2012).

Sadly, Dorgon had no memes. He will not be missed.

Today I poop upon Dorgon in memorial, and as a final farewell.


FYI: Yesterday I had Shrimp Pesto Pizza, a lot of ice cream, 4 Sausage Egg McMuffins, a ChiliDog, lots of coffee, and a Ceasar Salad.
Oiy! Que Stinky!

The MN Coalition has been established! My Tanga-centric empire grows!

http://www.tanga.com/forum/blogs/minneapolis-st-paul-tanga-purchasing-coalition

This site is so aweosme how could they have not come back!? : (

[4] He was weak. He could not compete with the new Tanga. The challenge and the change was too much for him. It was a failing of his Ego; it was too feeble. His ID was crushed by the quivering collapse of his Super Ego, and his Ego could only defend itself by fleeing.

I shall not succumb to such a failing! I shall exalt myself to a level of vastly disproportionate worth! It shall be cosmically comical in its perceived proportion to reality! It shall be more real than real; it will be denser than real! It will be a black hole of reality and reason! Reality shall not be able to come in contact with this black hole without touching the event horizon that is at once limitless and unreasonable! All reason shall be inescapably sucked in to it – never to be heard from again!

Mine! Still Mine! All MINE!


I remember the day clearly.
http://www.tanga.com/products/radica-gamester-reflex-dual-force-joystick-xbox--4/comments?comments_page=1#comment_86274

How sad. How lifeless. How unquotable. What an unmemorable and crushing defeat.

... I wonder why that page hasn't been devoured by the tanga admins? Shhh ... don't let them find out

Sadly, the fruits of my sub-Empire are scanty and meager. The peasants of Dorgon will need to supplement their squalid existence with the meats of squirrels and pigeons. Filthy peasants.

Ok, some pretty cool tornado weather last night, everything went from that hazy green to a funky red, it was pretty wild.
I'm just checking in on my Land of Dorgon here to make sure it didn't get swept off to the Land of Oz.

Hello, my little peasants of Dorgonville.

It is winter. The snow is smothering, suffocating, cold, and relentless. I hope you’ve stocked up on squirrel, pigeon, rats, lemons, cherries and watermelon, because you’re in for a long and hard winter. If your rations become low you may feel free to supplement your meager diets with extra portions of snow, icicles, and melted snow.

Many of you will not survive. ... Oh, stop your sniveling: it’s for the better.

Come spring we will do another count of you peasants. Reductions in rations will be made accordingly. Taxes will not be reduced; the luxury of more spacious accommodations and less crowded working conditions shall be expected to improve peasant morale and productivity. But, seeing as we are not unreasonable, we have decided to allow the peasantry to freely make more wages by removing the state approved Worker’s Unions, removing the cap on the 14 hour work day, allowing children under the ages of 10 to join the work force (at reduced standard child wages), and removing all privileges and generous employer volunteered accommodations associated with state approved holidays.

Thank you. The castle gates shall now be closed and locked until spring. Have a nice winter.

- The Managment

Ok, it's been late in coming, but we shall now open the gates as the official welcoming of the warm and glorious springtime weather is upon us.

Sadly, it seems that a great many of you peasants have heartily survived the harsh and lean winter season. This has brought some issues to light.

It would seem that the meager rations that you are supplied with are more substantive that we have been lead to believe. Adjustments will have to be made; such a perception of adequate charity shall not be tolerated.

This would also bring to light that the bemoaning and complaining of the Dorgonville populous is largely exaggerated and unfounded. This would apparently be to blame for leading us to the gross and extravagant rationing system that has been tolerated thus far, and these actions on behalf of the peasantry shall be considered to be intentional and willful defrauding of your benevolent dictatorship.
And we do so hate being defrauded.

The plumpest and fattest amongst you shall be singled out, shackled, flogged and whipped as you are driven through towns in a parade to display our displeasure and intolerance of such deceit, fraud, and theft. Those of you who are simply “big boned” shall receive no leniency; your wanton biological display of excessive calcium use shall be made an example of as well. The necessity of the frugality of the peasantry must be made clear and will be imposed and enforced most harshly until we see an improvement in these conditions.

The Management wishes you all a happy spring, and we look forward to your cooperation with the upcoming changes that shall be implemented immediately.

Thank you.

NOTICE:

Due to the recent severe weather conditions (tornados, flooding, and larger than normal mosquito swarms), the Management has decided to implement the Emergency Peasant Child Assistance Program (EPCAP). Through EPCAP, we will make sure that the future betterment of Dorgonville with be preserved by deploying all the peasant children of Dogonville to assist in emergency situations.

Under EPCAP all the peasant children of Dorgonville will be outfitted with umbrellas, trowels, and twine. They shall be immediately deployed to any areas experiencing flooding, heavy rainfall, tornado-like weather, wildfires, spreading plagues, minefields, roving packs of wild dogs, undead uprisings, and any other emergency-like conditions that the Management cares to address.

Through EPCAP we shall also provide the peasant children of Dorgonville with as little clothing as possible so that they may draw the larger than normal mosquito swarms away from areas that have not yet been struck by disasters. Their exposed young, soft, sweet, tender, not-yet-leathered peasant flesh should be enough to draw the ravenous mosquito swarms to wherever the EPCAP program is deployed.

We are confident that, through the results of EPCAP’s innovative initiative, improvements to Dorgonville, and areas far removed from the Management’s castle, will be quickly realized.

Thank you for your cooperation,
The Management

NOTICE:

As a reminder to all peasant parents and peasant guardians of Dorgonville: there will no longer be a need to claim peasant children from the peasant child-labor supported government facilities and workhouses at the end of government mandated peasant working shifts effectively starting today.

Have a pleasant peasant day.

... Hm. Peasants sure are durable ...

We would like to send a personal thanks out to AOTEAROA for their fabulously entertaining musical venue at the management's castle. We look forward to tomorrow's performance by 4ontheFloor, we have the highest expectations of them (as usual).

Management has hereby decided that Sea Urchins are foul, nasty, unpleasant little things that shall not be tolerated in any form of food preparation or cooking. Aside from being named after either hedgehogs or those dreadful little children, they are of a most wretched and disagreeable flavor and texture. And the lingering aftertaste and residue that it leaves in the mouth is of such an utmost distinctly undesirable nature that they have earned our enduring scorn and displeasure.

We hereby decree that all peasants are commanded to stomp any and all Sea Urchins upon sight, until they are unrecognizable smears upon the ground. And if a few of those unpleasant children are lost in the process it will be considered a worthy sacrifice. Any peasants or persons found carrying, harboring, or transporting Sea Urchins shall be immediately force-fed said offending Sea Urchins until the disgusting little Sea Urchins are no more or the offending peasant/person(s) is (are) dead (and the rest of the Sea Urchins will be stuff into their corpse as a container for the Sea Urchins to be buried in).

That is all. Thank you.
The Management

We have survived another winter. This winter has been weak and feeble, much like the peasants. This has been unfortunate in many ways.

1: The peasants have not decreased in numbers. The usual attrition that can be expected from our winters has not come to pass. This is problematic as the peasants seem to breed like rats.

2: The smell has been nauseating. We have not appreciated the effects of the bitter cold in the past when it came to odors. Without the cold, and clean blanket of snow, the odors from the squalid villages have been near unbearable. Management has considered sending the peasantry away if we are to experience another mild winter. We will look at establishing a foreign exchange program with some other kingdom, perhaps we can temporarily exchange our peasants for some sheep or goats for the duration of a winter.

3: The idleness of the peasantry is annoying. Again, we will address this by looking at establishing a foreign exchange program with some other kingdom (far away).

We will wait a bit longer to let these ideas ferment. We will issue an official Royal Decree after that time.

Thank you,
The Management

Hello?!


Sirbingo?!

Are you out there?!

...

Anybody?



...

Has anybody seen Sirbingo? We need a sirbingo now more than ever. Tanga has become sad.

Bow down! Bow Down!

MWahahahahahah!