Profile: sykottik

Hello I'm Seymour Kottik, and I'm glad you've come to visit. I don't get a lot of visitors, here in the institution. I'm presently living in Eugenia Psychiatric Hospital. It's really nice here. I'm allowed to have this laptop and an Internet connection. I'm usually rational and lucid depending on my thorozine and prozac levels. Whenever I start getting sad about where I am in my life, I think about the last words of my favorite uncle: .... "My God! A TRUCK!!!!!!" The doctors always try to trick me. They told me about something "new," said they've started cloning in Scotland. Like that's really something new, Ha Ha. They've been doing that down south for generations, they call them cousins. I think they are trying to fool me again, they ask why I write to my mother in Germany every week, even though she sends me mail from Iowa asking why I never write. When I try to explain they claim they can’t understand me through my scuba mask. Now a little bit about me. I've always lived by the word handed down from above "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear." I do, however, believe that God has a sense of humor, after all, he created me in his own image. I realize that the voices in my head are more than just a figment of my imagination." I am afraid of a few things: "Toilet Duck" scares the hell out of me and so do small objects. I'm really scared of fabric softener too. Spiders are kind of intimidating, also, but at least they taste good. People tell me one thing one day and out the other, but I feel as much like I did yesterday as I do today. I'd rather eat soap than little stones. I never liked room temperature. I line my pockets with hot cheese. My throat is closer than it seems. Most things are better eaten than forgotten. Likes and dislikes are among my favorites. When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing. I try to swallow at least three times a day. I can't find all my marmots, and I can pet animals by the mouthful. Just this morning I had a meaningful conversation with my toaster. We were talking about my really neat dead windowsill fly collection. They won’t let me watch TV anymore. It’s not my fault that I cry at the end of each episode of Gilligan’s island because they don’t get rescued. Each individual tooth has my name etched on it for security reasons. My main goal in life is to become the president of Bulimia. I bet that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used to it. By the way, have any of you seen Jimmy Hoffa? I really miss hanging out at the corner gas station just to smell the fumes. On my way here I stayed at the "Atheist Hotel" I opened the bedside drawer and instead of a bible there was a meaningless void. I finally figured out how to get more time on the "net." I put six locks, in a row, on my door, but I only lock every other one. I figure that no matter how long they stand there picking the locks, they are locking at least three. Something has been bugging me for a couple of months now; I was wondering, If a deaf-mute falls in the forest, and no one is around, does he make a sign? If you can explain please TG me. As always, I'll have to finish this later. It's "lights out" now and time for my meds. Thanks for stopping by