I placed my order on 12/12/12 for 4 items. 3 of them were intended as Christmas gifts, but I knew there was a chance they’d not come until shortly after Christmas. I told my kids, and nephew, that they’d be getting one last gift, but it’d be coming late.

I wrote on January 4th, asking for the status, and was promised it would be shipping very shortly. within 5 minutes of that ‘promise’ email, I received notice from their shipping dept. containing the tracking number. I was impressed, despite the email saying my order would ship within 10 business days of my order date. Really? This email is coming 15 business days after I placed my order – not counting weekends or holidays. But I knew it was a template, so it was basically meaningless.

I quickly forgot my irritation and I sat tight, knowing that Tracking Number was there to comfort and reassure me. For nearly 2 weeks, Tracking Number and I had lots of fun… we played impromptu games of hide-n-seek between jobs at the office.. we sat under the blankets with flashlights and told scary stories late at night.. I even let Tracking Number braid my hair once. (and I’m a dude!)

Then my world came crumbling down. It took almost two weeks, but I finally began to realize Tracking Number wasn’t my friend at all… he was just using me. He was like a spy planted in my life to monitor my actions, and to be there to reassure me whenever doubt began to creep back in. After this epiphany, I quickly wrote off Tracking Number and bottled up the pain his betrayal had caused me. At the advice of my psychiatrist to seek an outlet, I again took to email, and again asked WTH is going on with my order?!?

Same Line. “Yes, these will be shipping out shortly.” – quoted verbatim. Well, it’s been another 22 days, and my order has still not even been picked up by whoever’s supposed to deliver them. What in God’s name does someone have to do around here to get what they bought 2 MONTHS AGO?!

Has anyone else experienced this atrocious level of Customer Disservice?? If so, tell me what I have to do to get my crap, PLEASE! My kids will have no use for the adorable animal hats with mitten ear-flaps if this takes much longer. Thanks!!

P.S. Tracking Number, if you’re reading this, maybe you can call me sometime… we can grab a beer or something. - just no liquor for you anymore! remember what happened last time!?! (I wonder if they ever found that pig, or the squad car)

sigh ..those were the days….