Thanks to DharmaRN, LakeLivin, and Patanga talking dirty, I was reminded of so many things that sound dirty even though they’re not:

Priming the pump
I’ve got a big package for you.
I shattered my shuttlecock
Mmmm fish taco.
Is your uvula sore?
Need a Lube Job
Sit-n-spin
I’m here to read your meter
Deliveries in Rear
What time do you get off?
Are you a tight end or a wide receiver
Do you want your package wrapped?
Randy Johnson!
Thank you for coming!
Organ grinder
Defrag the hard drive.
chocolate covered pretzel
Petting the possum.

THANKSGIVING IS THE WORST:

Wow! that’s one terrific spread!
I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.
Reach in and grab the giblets.
Whew! Talk about huge breasts!
“And he forces his way into the end zone!”
It’s Cool Whip time!
“Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.”
“How long will it take after you stick it in?”
“You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.”
“That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!"

I HEARD TIGER SAY:

my shaft is bent
Look at the size of his putter
Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more
Mind if I join your threesome?
Hold up…I need to wash my balls first

OVERHEARD IN THE COURTHOUSE:

Have you looked through her briefs?
Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.
His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
Better leave the handcuffs on.
For $200 an hour, she better be good!
The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
Think you can get me off?

AT THE OFFICE:

I need to whip it out by 5!
Mind if I use your laptop?
Put it in my box before I leave.
If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag!
My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
It’s an entry-level position.
When do you think you’ll be getting off today?
Please keep your hands off the secretary’s reproducing equipment.

WHEN BILL WAS PRES.:

Polishing the presidential podium|
Unwrapping the Big Mac
Taking Buddy for a walk
Handling the Hotline
Vacuuming under the Oval Office desk
Waxing Air Force One
Shaking hands with the French ambassador
Giving the President an oral briefing
Taking dictation

Please add more below……………..